A Brilliant Madness: A Mathematical Genius Descent into Madness

The first time I've heard about John Nash, it was in 2008. I was 21. I've watched the movie about John Nash. I felt related to John Nash's works to some extent as I was introduced game theory in an introductory course during my maths studies.

But I'm not John Nash.
I'm like Nash. I'm interested in different problems, trying to encompass the whole of mathematics in one body. Partial differential equations, algebraic geometry, game theory, economic reasoning, things that we have in common, John and me.

I'm not 'his' bright. I'm more a lateal thinker that can think outside the box, outside the limits of models.
My main interest in relating physics to economics and finance. A physicist's approach to economics and finance is relevant in many terms.

I want to be a quantitative strategist in a bank or an investment fund. But do to my illness, I fit to investment banking and investment management best. Only long-term investments. I used to be a very active person ; now, I'm forced to be patient and think everything on the long term.

Mathematicians have a propensy of the excentric.
Uncorrelated psychopathy and mathematics. Obsession with logic.
John's Nash approach to mathematics is to speak mathematics with full fluency. I only know words and sentences for now. 
But my biggest challenges in my life will be to work on pure geometry, topology applied to economics and quantitative finance.

I know that after having earnt some good money from a career on Wall Street, even as a late-bloomer, I will join a research group and become a professor in finance, economics and mathematics.

I recover confidence, intelligence and dignity.

Living With Schizophrenia (Johnson & Johnson)

This uplifting 22 minute video shows interviews with patients living with schizophrenia, and mental health professionals who treat them. It shows how people diagnosed with schizophrenia can live normal lives.

Schizophrenia is perceived either with indifference or fear.
It is a medical illness. It is not a moral problem or a problem with your intellect, but just a chemical imbalance in your brain.

Schizophrenia is a brain disorder.

Positive symptoms:
* hearing voices
* having false beliefs
* being in delusional states

Negative symptoms:
* difficulty with energy
* decreased motivation
* emotional flatness/shallowness

Recovery is about confidence and intelligence. To understand deeply why you get up out of bed in the morning and start doing the things you do.

Living With Schizophrenia

In this video, three people with schizophrenia and one with schizo-affective disorder discuss how they manage their mental illness. The video was produced in consultation with Dr Andy Campbell, consultant psychiatrist, who has a lifetime of experience caring for people with schizophrenia. Dr Campbell also appears in the video.

Medication is a central part of the management of schizophrenia. However it is being increasingly recognised that psychological management, early intervention strategies, recognising and managing cognitive impairment, sensible lifestyle choices, peer support, and the role of family and friends all play a crucial part in staying well. The people who appear in this video discuss all these aspects of the management of their condition. The video provides a realistic yet optimistic view of life with schizophrenia.
* Medication* Psychological management* Counselling* Early intervention* Cognitive impairment* Lifestyle* Marijuana and other drugs* Peer support* Families

Living with Schizophrenia

Accepting the illness is the most difficult part of the pathology. I take it as a scientific problem to solve. There are deep underpinnings in the illness that make things understandable. 

Well understood, better resolved. 

This is my challenge.

The challenge to be less 'wasted', not that 'bright'.

I intend to write a technical book on things that people attained by schizophrenia can do to reduce and cope with cognitive impairment/deficits.

The impact of the illness is global: it means poorer social live, weak professional development, little access to opportunities that could have been at reach in normal health conditions.

Cognitive deficits and impairments:

1) difficulties in organizing thoughts and memories

2) difficulty with concentration

3) difficulty in focusing on events

Generally, it takes longer to schizophrenics to lean and to well their jobs or home tasks due to problems with concentration and memory.

A solution would be a combination of exercises used for mentally disabled people: structured thinking, structured action, physical exercise, self-management exercises.

The most critical part is restoring confidence. That is how we can restore intelligence. We would be less anguished about the cognitive skills at use. There is this inner void that reflects less well our value as a person. And the pressurizing from social factors that tells you to be perfect.

Instead of trying being perfect, just try to be okay, and be good. Very good at what you do is still possible but it will take longer time. Time is nothings, patience does it all.

I Hear Voices - A Story on Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a chronic, severe, and disabling brain disorder and one of the world's greatest public health concerns. People with the disorder may hear voices other people don't hear. They may believe other people are reading their minds, controlling their thoughts, or plotting to harm them. This can terrify the sufferers and make them withdrawn or extremely agitated. In Singapore, Schizophrenia ranks ninth among all the various diseases in terms of the burden of disease due to both premature mortality and disability arising from the disease. There is currently no cure for Schizophrenia and its cause is not fully understood. However, the symptoms can be well-managed with treatment, and it is important to identify and treat those with the condition as early as possible. Learn more about Schizophrenia in this video.

The Real John Nash Is Still Crazy

Madness prevails.
But you go back to reality, it feels like going home.

Draft Notes for my Book on Schizophrenia

I'm not John Nash - Restoring Confidence and Intelligence

Essentials of:

* Cognitive Psychology

* Neurocognitive Psychology

Identifying "gaps" (cognitive deficits):

* Concentration / loose attention span / short run focus

* Impoverished thinking skills

* Poor communication skills

* Mental fog 

* White noise

Mental exercises / books:

* IQ Tests

* Psychometric Tests

* Music Therapy

* Sleep Therapy

* Writing Therapy

* Gaming Therapy

* Problem-Solving Exercises

Developing reasoning, sequential logical reasoning, communication abilities (conversation, arguments development, writing skills)

Set realistic targets

Témoignage d'un schizophrène

Je reconnais le côté ésotérique et spirituel des schizophrènes. Le côté imaginaire prend le dessus. Ce qui ne faut pas faire, c'est de limiter l'imagination, mais de le contenir en une énergie créative et productive. Le plus dur, c'est de le faire en l'alignant des les normes de la société.

I recognize the esoteric and spiritual attachment of schizophrenics to imaginary elements. Imagination can rapidly go beyond its natural borders. One must not refuse have imagination but must strive to use imagination as a creative and productive power. The most difficult part in dealing with imaginary elements is to align these into social norms. 
If your imaginary world makes you someone not adapted to society, this makes your life a whole struggle in less one second.

Courrier brûlant (Court-métrage)

It never happened to me. But things alike, yes.
Like you've been molested by invisible people, hearing their voice saying that you should care about them at the same time.
It's like being in touch with ghosts.
I don't like that, but I got used to it when I get to bed now.

Tea Time (Court-métrage)

As I've mentioned and as scientific reports indicated, visual hallucinations hardly occur.
It must be under traumatic stress conditions that these might happen.
In general, what happens is delusions, not hallucinations.
Ideas such as the poison delirium.

What I call the poison delirium is that people around you are trying to kill you by putting poison in the food you eat, the water you drink, the cigarettes you smoke. Everything is poisoned.
This kind of delusion occurs especially in the case of paranoid schizophrenia.

It happened to me more than once. I believe my nice roommate was trying to kill me via food. Also that my father tried to kill me day by day with delicious food. Or that they put chemicals in hospital's food. Or that the water I drank was urine. Things like that. Chilling your skin out.

Une journée dans la vie d'un schizophrène

I hardly got visual hallucinations. They mostly occured when Victoria, my fiancee died. I saw her many times in the street, wearing the same leather jacket smiling at me.
I freaked out when I saw her.
The truth now is that it was other girls smiling at me.
I don't know if I still love her. My emotional shallowness makes me feel uncertain about my true feelings for people. At the same time, being emotionally flat confers so much inner peace.

Une fille en blouson de cuir (Court-Métrage)

La manière dont apparaissent les hallucinations auditives comme montré dans ce film court est exactement la même dans mon cas. De manière soudaine, brutale et semant la confusion.

Sens Dessus Dessous (Court-Métrage)

Agir tôt, c'est soigner mieux (prévenir, c'est guérir)

1 personne sur 100 souffre de schizophrénie. 
Dans 80% des cas, les symptômes s'améliorent dès qu'ils sont traités.
La schizophrénie est un trouble dont on peut se rétablir.

Rebbeca

When I see this little girl, even if I'm only 26 years old, I can't imagine my daughter inheriting my mental health conditions. 
I'm moved by how Rebecca (California, US) is brave and mature enough to understand the whereabouts of her disease.

Schizophrénie (Faits-clés)

Source: Magazine de la santé (France 5) 

1. Troubles schizophréniques: une définition aux contours incertains
Pathologie psychiatrique extrêmement complexe affectant les capacités cognitives, socio-affectives, émotionnelles et psychomotrices. 
2. Touche environ 1% de la population générale (600 000 personnes en France)
3. Troubles qui apparaissent au début de l'âge adulte (entre 15 et 35 ans)
D'après la plupart des études et le consensus des cliniciens, les troubles surviennent très rarement avant et après la tranche d'âge indiquée
4. Causes: inconnues ou mal connues
5. Diagnostic: un diagnostic différentiel (comparaison avec d'autres troubles) difficile dû à la variabilité des symptômes au cas par cas
6. Développement de la maladie: la maladie évolue au cours du temps et de la vie du malade, marquée parfois des périodes de rémission, parfois par des rechutes sévères
7. Symptômes positifs (psychotiques, excès de fonctionnement du cerveau):
- hallucinations
- délires
- troubles affectifs, relationnels, de la personnalité, cognitifs, émotionnels 
8. Symptômes négatifs (déficits de fonctionnement):
- troubles dus à des fonctions altérées:
- troubles socio-affectifs
- troubles cognitifs
- troubles psychomoteurs
9. Taux de survie faible, taux de suicide élevé
Taux de survie moyen faible, taux de suicide élevé: 1 personne sur 2 fait une tentative de suicide durant la vie de la maladie, 10% ne survivront pas à la maladie

Extraits du témoignage de Julien, 39 ans, ex-hypokhâgne, DEA Lettres, bibliothécaire
" Quand on est schizophrène, c'est à vie, on ne change pas."
" On a structure en nous qui ne change pas."
" Le réel m'envahissait."
" J'ai perdu beaucoup d'amis, beaucoup de gens."
" Dans ces moments, on se sent très seul."
" Ce qu'on peut faire, c'est travailler avec la maladie, c'est faire reculer la maladie."

10. Traitement: largement basé sur des substances psychoactives (neuroleptiques)
11. Noeud de résolution: rémissions durables basées sur un traitement de long terme accompagné d'une réinsertion sociale et professionnelle
12. Distinction entre troubles et symptômes: les troubles sont les difficultés engendrées par la maladie tandis que les symptômes sont des manifestations de la maladie.
Les hallucinations sont des symptômes, la perte de concentration et la pensée confuse sont des troubles (cognitifs, en particulier). 

Les neuroleptiques utilisés dans le cas d'un traitement médicamenteux traite les symptômes mais ne résout pas les troubles engendrés par la maladie.

13. Traitement: un traitement au cas par cas avec réhabilitation sociale et choix de molécule adapté au patient avec un suivi médical renforcé.